Catatan Terakhir 4

The year is 2009. Alhamdulillah, syukur kerana Allah telah memberikan aku nikmat udara yang segar dan oksigen agar aku masih dapat hidup di muka bumi ini. Alhamdulillah, tahun ini aku telah menjejaki ke angka umur yang ke-22, satu umur yang agak 'besar'. As usual, as the semester nearly comes to the end, there are exams to dealt with, and of course those 'heartbreak' moments where we will miss our friends, our dear close friends, during the holidays. True, this semester has many up-and-downs, twist-and-turns, the good and the bad, the black and white, the right and wrong. Going to the end of the 3rd year of your studies, makes you think, 'What will I do next? What do I want to be?' or is it? I have leart a lot from the past, the experience. One could say that experience is the most valuable asset that you can acquire. Some experiences are hard, some are easy. Your experience may differ from mine. It's not who you are sometimes, but it's what you really want and how you really want it.

Experience can change a person in an instance. One day he can become good, a saint. Who knows, the next day maybe it's not his luck at all. We are all human beings, as created by Allah. We have brains, heart, hands, feet, stomach - our body - that Allah has created human beings as such. We use our brains to think, to take such actions, to benefit ourselves. Experience is not something one person could get in a day. Sometimes it takes years and years, practice after practice. Such experiences are indirectly occurred to us. It may be something that we don't want to, but we have to.

Remember the time, when were we small, we would run around in the playground. We had laughs with our friends, we play, and play, and play. We go to school to meet our friends, and we play again. Ah yes, those sweet memories when we were a child, how naughty we were. And then, during high school, it's the same thing, we play, and we play, and we play. Only then, we were a bit serious. Play is play. School is school. We learn to arrange play time and time to learn, do our homeworks, study for tests and exams. From monday to friday, we woke up around 6 in the morning, have our shower, breakfast, and go to school. For some of us, we would take a bus, some would go with their parents, some would walk to school. And then, around 1 p.m., the bell would rang, and we all headed back to our beloved homes. Almost everyday. Always. A routine.

And then, comes the time where we would make choices on which college or university to go. We would see those lucrative offers there is in the newspapers. There are so many to choose from. And then when we finally had what we want, we start to make new friends. We learn to know each other. We start to mingle with so many people that came from all parts of the country. Only then, we knew that anyone can be our friend, but not everyone can be our true friend. Things goes so well during our varsity years. We would here and there, trips after trips. We would try to climb up the highest mountain possible, only to find out that we can only reach the hill. We see so many things, that we want to try. No more parents scolding at you, as if you are as free as a bird. Fly away up high, as you desire.

And then, what you had, all those years of happiness and joy, eventually will come to an end. There is a period of time, that you have to face. After graduating, you will start to find work, take your salary and put some of it in your savings account. You will get married, have a lovely and beautiful wife. Have children, one, two, three, or maybe four, or maybe more. You try to be part of the society, you became known among others. You succeed in your career. You own what you ever dream of. Life is good.

But what if, those stories were likewise? You were not popular, you had no friends, you did not achieve well in your exams. You fail and fail dan fail. You did not go to a good university. You don't have a good job. You have a wife, but you are not happy. You have children, spoil them, and became stubborn. Your children wont listen to you. Life is not so good. What about that?

Allah itu Maha Adil. Seringkali atau barangkali kita menyalahkan 'takdir' yang menimpa diri kita. Kita sudah cuba sedaya upaya, tetapi hasilnya tidak memuaskan. Kita mula kecewa, dan mula berfikir secara tidak rasional. Kita memikirkan satu alternatif untuk menyelesaikan masalah-masalah yang dihadapi. Ketahuilah bahawa Allah jadikan sesuatu itu dengan hikmah-hikmah tertentu. Barangkali, apa yang kita mahukan tidak dapat, barangkali Allah menggantikannya dengan sesuatu yang lebih baik. Kita sering lupa dan alpa. Kadangkala kita hilang punca kebergantungan, yang mana hanya pada Allah lah kita berdoa dan memohon kesejahteraan. Kadangkala, Allah tidak memberi apa yang kita mahukan, akan tetapi, apa yang kita perlu sahaja. Bersyukurlah pada Allah sentiasa kerana banyak nikmat yang telah diberikan kepada kita. Nikmat sihat. Nikmat penglihatan. Nikmat pendengaran. Nikmat rasa dan pelbagai lagi.

As times goes by, I wonder what I went through all those years. Those unwritten stories of me. A story in which I am the director, the producer. Everything. And how I wonder what lies ahead of me. Would it be good? or bad? Hanya Allah sahajalah yang mengetahui. Manusia merancang, Allah merancang, dan sebaik-baik perancang adalah Allah.

"We seldom regret things that we alrady did, instead,
we regret those that we did not do"