25 November 2008

    24.11.08 - Ep. 2: Heartbreak

    "Where were you? Why didn't you go?"

    At a sudden moment, I looked. I felt that I really did something wrong, really bad. It's wonderful how you can interpret someone's face in telling how he or she felt about the matter. I felt a bit of a feeling of negativity towards me. I wanted to apologize, but I couldn't.

    Minute after minute. Hour after hour. Day after day. It's the same old episode. I tried to open a new chapter. Somehow, it affected me. I still couldn't give up. I looked around, it's still the same background, the same set. However, there are a few minor and major adjustments. I can still see the same actors - protagonist, antagonist, active, passive - all under one roof. I did wonder somehow, there are quite a few that I didn't see. Probably, they were at a different set. Nevermind them though.

    I ran. I ran as fast as I can. It's like in the movie Sepi where Tony Eusoff ran and ran, just to forget about the accident that happened to his wife. Only this time, I didn't ran like him, only just a few blocks away. Just enough to get my heart pumping and sweat. At a sudden, I felt my heart beating fast, It felt a bit hurt. I struggle a bit to breathe. But, I managed to control it. Slow and steady.

    "Why are you so quiet? Say something la.."

    Maybe it's because of what I am. I don't know. Maybe I don't like to talk much. Because I know that some people don't 'listen' to what I say. "Who do you think you are?" Ever heard of that? Ironically, it's not that I don't want to talk what I want to talk, but, to me, some secrets are meant to be secrets. Over the years, I had see many. The up and downs. Left and right. Front and back. I know for sure that I cannot see what lies ahead of me. Plan, as they say.

    I stood in front of the door. I stood still. I don't know how long I should look and stare. I haven't been in that moment for a long, long time. Some things may come to you unexpectedly. As people say, some things may never come twice. So, I took the liberty to grab that moment. And, for a while, I felt...


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